It should go without saying what’s appropriate or acceptable for grown men and women to do in a bathroom. I find myself slightly fascinated by the kinds of things I see and find when I’m in a washroom.
It seems as though the more stalls there are, the worse it gets. Of course, the dream is to have a single toilet bathroom all to yourself. However, most of the time that isn’t the case. Rather, you’re crammed in a small, poorly ventilated room with next to no privacy while you handle some of your most personal business. Lovely.
When thinking of bathroom etiquette, generally we think of hand washing and flushing. This list is an insight in to what some people may overlook when they’re sharing a bathroom with others.
So, here it is.
A guide to bathroom etiquette that most people can relate to:
- Skip-a-stall (or skip-a-urinal). Take note of where others are seated, then, sit anywhere except right beside them. This especially applies if the bathroom is otherwise empty. Give people as much privacy as humanly possible under the circumstances.
- Don’t sit next to someone if you’re pooping unless you have to. This goes hand-in-hand with number 1. We all have to do it, but let’s face it, it isn’t pleasant having to do it in the room with other people. Do people a favor – don’t sit two feet away from them and drop the kids off if you don’t have to.
- Flush – twice if necessary. I don’t know what the reason, but sometimes people don’t feel like it’s necessary to flush their business. Marking their territory, blatant ignorance; call it what you will. Other times, the toilet doesn’t live up to it’s potential and you’ve just got to give it a second flush. It happens.
- Don’t stand on the toilet. Stand on a toilet you ask? Yes, you read that right. I haven’t witnessed this live, but I’ve seen the evidence. I can’t put my finger on why someone stands on the seat and squats, but I can only think that it’s taking hovering to the next level. Your feet are dirtier than the flesh of one’s ass, so you’re actually more of a problem than a solution. Stop it.
- Clean your mess. I don’t know how some messes are made in those stalls, but it’s mind baffling. I’ve seen several types of bodily fluid, or solid for that matter, dribbled, smeared, splattered and wiped in a bathroom stall. If you’re sitting, I can’t imagine how things are coming out of the toilet; maybe I’m missing something. Nonetheless, if you find your bodily fluids escaping the toilet – WIPE THEM UP.
- Don’t put paper towel or feminine products in the toilet. The only reasonable explanation I can think of for people to put paper towel in the toilet is that they’re using it to cover the seat. Why?! There is an entire roll of flushable toilet paper at your disposal right in the stall! As far as feminine products go, there’s a box designed just for them most of the time. If not, wrap it and take it to the trash. I can understand if the bathroom is bustling with people, but I have yet to find a washroom (to the best of my recollection) that doesn’t have a box for disposal. Basically, if you wouldn’t flush it in your own toilet, don’t do it elsewhere.
- Don’t go to the bathroom to converse. When someone is in the bathroom, empty and all alone, the thrill of being able to poop in peace without trying to pace it to avoid making any ungodly noises is relieving. When someone else comes in to use the toilet, not much can be done. However, when you’re trying to poop and people come in just to whisper about their co-workers, I don’t care who you are – you’re quietly cursing them from the other side of the stall. Save the chit-chat for the water cooler.
- Don’t talk around people. I am not a fan of talking to someone from across a public bathroom, but will on occasion, talk if we’re next to each other. What is really weird is when I’m sitting in the middle of someone’s conversation, pooping no less.
- Relieve yourself quietly. There are many awkward noises that can take place in a bathroom, but when you’re quietly relieving yourself and someone a few stalls down releases a loud, “ahhhhhh!”…. that’s awkward. Trust me, I too know how good it feels to unload a bladder I’ve been holding much too long. Please try to keep the additional sound effects to a minimum.
Did I miss something? What pet-peeve do you have when using a public washroom?